||The Department of Homeland Security has raised the "color alert"
to CODE ORANGE in the wake of a series of attacks by BUSTY MEXICAN
Residents are advised to stay indoors and keep their computers turned
to HAIRCUT.NET for further reports and "color alerts."
||The alert was issued after numerous "VAMPIRE ATTACKS" all over the
country by BUSTY MEXICAN VAMPIRES. One recent attack in the Chicago area
just blocks away from President Obama's home prompted the President to remark,
"They seemed like such nice girls." The President's security detail has added
wooden hammers and wooden stakes to their arsenal of weapons in case one
of the busty vampires attacks the President.
||When contacted by this reporter and asked about the threat to the
President, one of the vampires said "No, we voted for Obama!" The vampire,
known as Sandra, claimed to be misunderstood, but why let facts get in the
way of a scary headline?
||Meanwhile, on Meet the Press, the panel discussed whether Mexican
Vampires would end up taking over all the jobs of the American Vampires.
The Mexican Vampires are known to work a lot harder than the American ones,
and for less money. Perhaps it's just a matter of time before the American
Vampire disappears altogether?
This has raised the possibility that the American Vampire might be placed
on the Endangered Species List.
||In light of the National Security issues raised by the Vampire attacks,
President Obama has picked a new Vampire Czar to look into the problem. He
appointed Bela Lugosi, the original vampire who played "Dracula" in the movies.
When asked by reporters about the fact that Lugosi has been dead for many
years, President Obama remarked, "Being dead hasn't stopped a lot of political
careers here in Washington. Besides, Lugosi is technically UNDEAD, and thus,
still able to serve as Vampire Czar."
||Meanwhile, back at HAIRCUT.NET the vampires are getting ready to
shave their heads and donate their hair for charity.
||First Juan gets his hair cut, donating over 10 inches of hair to
Locks of Love.
Juan is not a vampire.
||Juan's haircut is performed by Jasmine (She is a vampire). Jasmine
snips off Juan's long hair and piles it up for Locks of Love.
||Jasmine takes Juan for a quick visit to "MULLETLAND."
Very cute. What will this crazy vampire girl do next?
When she is finished with Juan, his head is shaved smooth as a
||THE FAMILY THAT SHAVES TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER
Next in the chair is Jasmine. Her long locks are also cut and saved
for Locks of Love. Then the clippers make short work of her hair, and the
razor leaves her smooth and sexy.
||The couple plan to stay up late and play "vampire games" while howling
at the moon till morning.
||The next vampire to get a haircut is SANDRA, WHOSE WAIST LENGTH
LOCKS ARE THICK AS A FIST, smooth, silky and shiny. Her hair could go on
a Pantene commercial.
||Sandra is not a vampire, but she wants to become one. She is Jose's
sister. Sandra nervously sits in the barber chair. We cut her long hair for
donation to Locks of Love. Then we run the clippers like they were stolen
by vampires and in a very few minutes, Sandra is clipped to within milimeters
of her scalp. Jasmine takes off what little hair is left, and shaves Sandra
smooth with the electric razor. We then lather Sandra up and shave her smooth
with the Mach III razor.
We hope you were able to watch all 3 of these haircuts LIVE as they
happened on the subscription site. We are working on the video and will release
We hope to have a special feature up on the subscription site later
||Special thanks to all the members of our group who support our efforts
by purchasing a subscription or DVD's or downloads. All of you make our efforts
possible, and we thank each and every one of you for your support!!
TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR MORE NEWS ABOUT THE ATTACK OF THE BUSTY MEXICAN
NOW AVAILABLE ON BLU RAY OR DVD
CLICK HERE TO ORDER
YOUR COPY OF OUR LATEST RELEASE, DVD 263 "THE ATTACK OF THE MEXICAN VAMPIRES!!
ON BLU RAY OR DVD
CLICK HERE TO WATCH IT NOW ON THE